and i didnt read your response.... so i am responding. you definitely have busy lives and that does play a part. one thing you might try, which worked for me (at least 1 night) was set a date, "night out" for yourselves.
who cares if it is in the house, just get the kids to bed and go on a date. even if it is w/ a bottle of wine, lisening to soft music and talking.... its a start and different. its also a great time to talk about aything.
it worked for me 1 night - the 2nd time around was disasterous (long story)....
