My ex-H did not start out the type of guy he became. I have checked this out with innumerable people. I am not the only person who has seen fit to discontinue relationship with him - me, his best friend, his sisters and his parents are all the same in this regard. He isn't a villan, he is merely in the spot he is in due to his choices and he continues making those kinds of choices. I haven't been angry at him in FOREVER - he is who he is and he really did do the very best he was capable of in our M, unfortunately he also began struggling with mental illness and substance abuse issues along the way. We dated for 3 1/2 years before we married - there were signs of what was to be but I was very young and hopeful. Yes - choosing him did lead to choosing "the opposite" in current H but it didn't have anything to do with anger.
I do have trouble with anger toward myself for my choices. You are right there. I don't confuse that with anger toward ex-H.
I did think that the article had some take home points for all of us.
