I am so glad that you recognize that. Your moment of glee was totally human.
I am an ectomorph and have many friends who are overweight. My H is considered overweight by his Dr., I see some tummy (he eats like sh*t) but I know how much he exercises so it would never occur to me to give him crap. I have always known that truth be told I eat much more and worse than my overweight friends do. I sometimes exercise more than they, sometimes not. Many of my girlfriends have a lot of traumatic childhood memories related to food that I simply do not. I completely understand that it would be ridiculous to compare my weight or my ahem, diet to theirs. I also accept that people have different body types and frames and that all well cared for bodies are beautiful. In other words, MJ, it is time that you developed some standards for YOURSELF about your body. Eat healthy to be healthy not to attain some crazy standard. Get a really good haircut, nice low maintenance makeup (less is more on we ladies of a certain age), clothes that make you feel great and BE GREAT! I realize that you claim to be fashion impaired - What Not to Wear is a great show to help you, nicer stores like Nordstrom's very often have personal shoppers to help you put together a workable wardrobe and there are some good books out there. I believe one was called something like "Three Black Skirts". A few really good interchangeable pieces and shop at least twice per year Fall and Spring to make sure that you aren't outdated or wearing icky, pilled up clothes that have lost their shape.
Your H is not "all that" just because he has put himself in the place of the fashion, diet and exercise police. We all bring plusses and minuses to the table in our marriages and if we love one another we overlook a little gut, a little pickiness, a little bad taste or whatever AND we encourage our SO to grow beyond whatever issues there are. Maybe you should go get a body composition and fitness test done. I'll bet you'll find that you aren't as far off of your personal mark as you think. You might be suprised.
MJ, I think you are an amazing woman with a lot to offer. Your H would do well to recognize that you and he are on a more even keel than he realizes.
