Angry no more

[MJontheMend]

Of course, that is because your H keeps moving the cheese to try to find the perfect spot/perfect standard and it isn't the cheese's location that is the problem!

I think that there are people who need a lot of attention rather than intimacy or affection in order to feel cared for. They think along the lines of "If she loved me, she would remember that I don't like that shade of lipstick on her.". Having this sort of perfectionist love language makes them view many benign actions as passive-aggressive. For instance, my H takes offense because his mother frequently serves a fruit salad that he is allergic to at gatherings. From my POV it is a perfectly benign thing to do when you are serving many dishes and feeding many people.

I think you were on to something a while back in your thread(s) when you determined that some things were legitimate beefs with a logical answer but they didn't have much to do with sex. For example, "Your butt looks big in those pants is a legitimate reason to say - "Hey sweetie, I don't care for the look of those pants how about we go shopping on Saturday for a new pair?" or after dinner to say, "How about we go for a nice family walk?" but not to refuse sex. Remember what I'm getting at?

Yes, actually I think I took that line of thinking to its logical conclusion when I said something to my H along the lines of "Well, that's a good reason to go find a skinny woman to have sex with but it's not a good reason to not have sex with me in a monogamous relationship.".

It is ok to respect some of his preferences but it is equally important to comply with yours. What kind of look do you genuinely like? What foods do you genuinely enjoy cooking and eating? Just reminding you not to lose you.

I really am sort of fashion impaired so it is kind of hard for me to figure out what look I like. Left to my own devices I have the tendency to dress myself like a giant sexy toddler. For instance, I would think that a stretchy white t-shirt, baby blue overalls and flip-flops would be an attractive comfortable outfit on me. However, according to my research, given my age and body type I should probably choose something like an emerald green princess line sundress and sling back sandals with a kitten heel appropriately accessorized with a chunky necklace that falls down my chest a distance equal to the length of my face.

As far as cooking goes, my kids are as much of a problem as my H, my preference is for seafood, Thai, Korean, Indian etc. cooking and my gang prefers bland food like macaroni and cheese, burgers, pancakes etc. So, since I'm watching my weight, I'll usually have some fish and salad or spicier food for my big meal at lunch and at dinner time I cook bland food for my family and just eat a tiny bit of it myself. I just invented a recipe for homemade protein bars because I am too cheap to buy the ones at the store and I like to have them for breakfast. I call them Hi-Pro No Mores because they taste like S'mores but they're so loaded with protein you can only eat one.