I understand your dilemma and it is one I am trying to understand. It think your answer covers to broad of a set of conditions. In other words, in a close intimate relationship, then crying and being vulnerable makes sense. In a more stressed relationship like we have, pulling back a certain amount makes sense. How much you pull back is a guess. Not enough and you get hurt too much. Too much and you could send the marriage backwards.
In the end, this may not matter so much, since at the critical moment, we will be constrained by the situation at hand and by the emotional state of yourselves and our spouse. At that moment we must act as best we can and hope that later we do not regret our actions. So like and athlete in competition, you train as best you can, then when its time for the tournament, you just have to let go and let your body do what it knows best to do.
I’ll be gone on vacation for two weeks. I’ll try to keep up with the threads when I get a chance. Hang in there!
