I guess I don't see how this would be a 180 for me given my previous identity as super cry-baby. A very common reaction throughout my marriage before I joined this BB to sexual rejection was to cry and ask for comfort.
I disagree. I think your crying before may have been from a sense of self pity, low self esteem, etc., in a way asking him to rescue you, which was beyond his ability or capacity. It actually heightened his sense of guilt and inadequacy and was an attempt to throw your stress and anxiety onto him, like the hot potato no one wants to handle.
However with a strong sense of self, showing your emotions does not have to give the same message. I think it can be conveyed more in a spirit of honest disclosure, and as long as you don’t become reactive, it will let him see up close the hurtfulness of his actions. I don’t think you should cry, but just tell him how you feel. To you it may look like you are doing the same thing, but I think it is completely different. It is the strong, emotionally anchored person guiding the child with simple fact, explaining the action/reaction of relationships without assigning blame or guilt
