Quote: If I consider the reasons why backsliding might happen it's clear to me that they would all be the direct or indirect result of me wimping out in some way, so I guess my main worry in that regard is that I'll discover yet another way in which I am a wimp and have to work through it.
Mojo, do you see how in this statement you are making yourself responsible for whether your husband keeps his side of the agreement?
I know what you mean-- you feel that it's up to you to enforce the agreement... but I want to point out the fallacy in your thinking. If he doesn't follow through, YOU haven't failed at anything. YOU are not a wimp. (I HATE that word, btw-- it's a word full of self-loathing). If he doesn't follow through, he has failed, not you.
Then you have the choice of whether or not to follow through on your boundary setting--- yeah, I know that's what you meant by being a "wimp"-- that you'll have carry out your threat. But just separate these two things in your mind: if he doesn't hold up his end of the agreement, it's not BECAUSE you have done anything wrong. You're taking too much responsibility for both sides of this thing.
