Your analysis is right up to a point. I didn't walk on eggshells around my mother when I lived with her and I definitely didn't try to placate her. I actively avoided her presence but I also had many, many screaming matches with her. My mother was out-to-lunch on her manic sprees more than she was actively raging. Her rages were almost always ambush attacks so you couldn't benefit by walking on eggshells to avoid them. My sister has commented on the fact that when I was younger I was less wimpy than I am now. I think maybe becoming a mother myself triggered my desire to repress my anger in order to not be like my mother. I didn't want my children to grow up in a house full of yelling and anger so I started avoiding conflict with my H when I realized that he had the tendency to lose his temper when confronted. I wouldn't repress my anger to protect myself from conflict or abandonment but I would do it to protect my children. Maybe if my H and I had been married for a while before we had children this could have been avoided or resolved. Interestingly, I was never overweight before I married and when I let myself feel actively angry I lose weight almost effortlessly. So maybe I do "stuff" my feelings like your poor little friend.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
