Quote: Unless the boy sees an adult alpha male who is in charge of himself and not controlled by the female he can see no way out of this situation. So no matter how sweet natured a wife he ends up with he will still be angry at the controlling mother figure.
My MIL is definitely more in the smothering role than the controlling role but I guess that is just a different version. Recently we were at her house for dinner and she asked my H to go outside to do a minor task for her. When he walked in the house she said "You're going to wash your hands, right?". My teenage children who are pretty sophisticated started laughing at this because they could recognize how inappropriate it was directed at a 42 year old man and they know that my MIL drives my H crazy at times. I had to make mock strict faces at them to shush them and work really hard to stop myself from cracking up. My H is pretty self-aware and will laugh at these type of encounters with his mother and say things to me like "Is it any wonder I am the way I am?".
His FIL is pretty Alpha in the John Wayne type mold. Unfortunately, much too cold, conservative and reserved to interact well with a Type 4 son like my H. He dumped my MIL for another woman in another state after almost 30 years of marriage a couple monthes after I married my H. This led to further estrangement between father and son. If I had been older and wiser at the time I might have taken some action to mediate this breach.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
