Well since I wasn't there I can't vouch for the hotheadeness either way ;-)
However, you do seem to understand boundaries, which it seems is going to be very important if you decide that you will be willing to take him back. This man should not necessarily be kissing your feet, however your needs at this point in time over OW's should be coming first if he is trying to show through actions that he truly wants to make a go of things... the way his explanation came across to OW sounds almost as if he was willing to attempt to reconcile to make YOU happy.
There was a time when ex had me confused. We had talked and he mentioned that something giving the impression that he wished me to end his R with OW. I didn't know how to take it and so I phoned my DB Coach and he explained to me that it was very important that HE end the R with her and then come back to me... otherwise, if I had intervened on his behalf and he did come back home and things did not work out he could go back to OW and say See I told you so, it would never work but now she knows and now I am free to be with you. SO I layed low... ended up turning my back on the whole thing and moved forward with my life.
