Wondering if folks might be able to chime in with their thoughts / experiences?
I am an avid golfer - its my one hobby outside of work. I put in 45-50 hour weeks to provide for the family and am just looking to have 5 hours per week to be able to enjoy this.
Here's the rub - My wife and I have different perceptions of spending time together / family management. She comes from a background where the father spent his entire time at the beck and call of his wife and I believe that deep-down she expects me to be similar. She's a "stay at home mom" and has few hobbies. One child is in full-time school and the other has pre-school 3/4 times a week which provides her much time to herself during the work week.
To her defense, I am a very independent person and lived in a home where my parents spent a lot of time together, weekday and weekend nights especially, however had very separate interests and that seems to work for them. As a result, I show similar tendencies.
Lastly, we do things as a family each weekend, but not neccesarily as structured. Time at the local pool, get-togethers with other families, playing sports in the backyard, etc...
As a result, my want for 5 hours / weekend to enjoy golf which I find stress relieving and a decent form of exercise (I walk the course and its quite hilly) is looked at a character weakness and threatens the family.
Any suggestions / perspective on this? Is my golf actually bad for the family? Flip side - is it reasonable to have hobbies outside of the family? How can we work to have some kind of equity in our lives and have a happy marriage?
