Well talk about yin and yang. Day started off w/ XW coming to pick up the kids. They've been real snotty/snitty/etc w/ me the past two days and I told her we needed to talk about a few things so off we went to sit in the van w/ the A/C on so we could have some privacy. One thing led to another; she said that my Mom had to stop telling her how sad S11 was and me telling her that she belongs at the house. She said that isn't ever going to happen. We started talking about us. VERY LONG story; upshot is STILL she didn't feel loved, I didn't "make" it up to her. She just felt dead inside. It's too late now. She doesn't like R conversations. We're not ever... etcetcetc. I didn't ever want to spend money, why couldn't we get a pool; the kids would have loved it, etc. I did my best DBing and DIDN'T say that it was one more thing I'D have to take care of and where was the $$ coming from anyway. Just kept quiet. So I felt pretty crappy when she left...
Came to work and on a break OM is sitting nearby (w/ almost the same damn shirt on, just a little lighter... ) The only other person in the room gets up and leaves, OM turns to me and asks if we can talk sometime. I asked how much longer he had on his break...... Sooooo we go outside into the 110 degree Heat Index swelter and start walking. First he apologizes for getting involved w/ XW and sleeping w/ her and asks for my forgiveness. I told him that like I told him last winter, I would forgive him eventually. That we blew up our marriage, he was not the cause, but he affected things and made it impossible to recover from. That if he was truly the good friend she said he was and he professed... he would have drawn boundaries and just been a supportive friend while she tried to figure out her issues and her marital probs....
He completely agreed. We walked/talked for 25 min... And he didn't realize that there was a LOT she BS'ed him on or just didn't tell him. Too much to go into now and I'm still trying to assimilate the whole conve.
BUT, I feel a lot better than I did 6 hours ago. Oh, and I said that was crappy the way you treated her and she still hasn't figured out that you wouldn't have told her it was over if she hadn't gone and confronted you. He said HUH? I told her in June it was over. I said, well she was still thinking it was going to be wonderful when she got her D as of a year ago, the beginning of last Aug. Which is why she confronted you middle of last Aug and called you repeatedly. He rolls his eyes and says Oh Yeah, That... I think he's realizing even MORE that she wasn't firing on all 8 cylinders for quite some time. Velly Interesting Evening.
) The only other person in the room gets up and leaves, OM turns to me and asks if we can talk sometime. I asked how much longer he had on his break...... Sooooo we go outside into the 110 degree Heat Index swelter and start walking. 
