Me just turned 45 XW almost 45 Married 20.5 Bomb Mar 05 SHE Moved out Apr 05 OM Mar-Jul 05 Div...May 06
D was final in May... 3x since then in various conversations XW has said..."I didn't feel cherished and adored" And.. "I didn't know if you really wanted to be w/ me" (after my A, in 1989 mind you!)
And she has shown NO inclination to continue those talks even though saying she would like to at some time. I have contemplated sending her two letters, one validating HER feelings and the other explaining how rejected and dismissed I felt over the years... Doubt I will, but it has been carthartic writing them.
Kids... S11 calls her a couple of times a week and is very adamant about not scheduling activities if it conflicts w/ their visits to her... D15, well what can you say about a 15 y.o. female (sorry ladies!) she is driving me NUTS w/ the attitude and snottiness. I think Copernicus, Galileo, et al were wrong, the world revolves around HER!!!
Friends have said XW still seems to be in her own little world; that she doesn't really interact w/ them, contacts them sporadically and one told me point blank that it's doubtful anything I say or they say would get through to her. I think she's still in MLC, still thinking that if ONLY OM (virgin boy) would grow up and cut the mommy apron strings EVERYTHING would be peachy. Of course he wants NOTHING to do w/ her. Don't think she's dating either. But cruising the Yahoo personals! Yes I saw her ad!
Now for the tricky part. Most of HER furniture and almost all her personal possessions are STILL at the house. By agreement the division of "stuff" and removal was supposed to occur w/in 30 days of the D. Neither of us has said anything about this. Back at XMAS she did pack up a few trinkets and the china and left the boxes in the basement but never finished packing... At the time I told her they could stay for now, knowing she had no place to really put them and thinking maybe she won't go through w/ the divorce...
SO, now I'm thinking I need to tell her to get her stuff out and be gone, like get your stuff out within 10 days time. Including the extra two seats from the van that are in the basement! Would love to see her lug those up to her 3rd floor apt when she needs the space in the van! I think I need to do this for me and letting it her keep her crap here w/o any sign that she would ever want a R w/ me again is BS!
It's not like things can get worse, well, yeah, I guess she could start being a real (W)itch. But for the most part she just avoids talking to me. It's almost like she's even MADDER at me now and blames me for her sitch. And her living expenses are more than she's making so she's dipping into cash from the sale of our rental property.
So what say y'all? Tell her to move her stuff? Letter, email or verbally? I'm leaning towards a note on the counter that she can get when she picks up the kids or maybe I'll leave her a note in her apt when I pick up the kids while she's at work. That way if she gets all pi$$y, the only person there is her (and her new puppy!).
I guess I'll do this before summer is out and at least I won't have to look at some of the pieces I built FOR HER... I'm not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel, which means at least I'm not going to get run over by a train!!
