Sounds like you are doing great Xue! I enjoy reading about the developments in your situation and while I don't have any insight into your w's psyche, I can tell you that it seems that she wanted to get closer to you after the two of you shared a common experience. But you are right, there is more to it than that. I advise you to let your w feel that no matter what happens with D17, you will "be on her side" wrt D17, even if her anger seems unreasonable, she needs to know you respect her enough to have that anger and express it without being told she is wrong for it. Allow her that time to vent while you are as empathetic as possible and I bet her anger at D17 will fade and in the process her love for you will flourish. Sometimes we women really need an empathizer with us when we feel wronged or hurt--we don't want to be talked out of it (at least not by our wonderful husbands--sorry guys, we're freaky).
Things are moving in the right direction for you. YOu are the most patient man in the universe I think! Althea
