Yes I've seen what you are talking about Sven. Very small realizations that at the time didn't get her where she needed to be. But I believe we might have hit the big AHA!!!
For some reason D17 screwing up was the catalyst. It was as if W didn't have anyone to go to but me but realized I was the one she wanted to go to anyway. Wierd. But that's how I felt about it.
Last night we were talking about it and strangely everything is my decision lately, In a good way. W was asking how would an outsider see it. In what way would an outsider see that W has screwed up in dealing with D17. I said "none" D17 was operating purely from her emotional side, not her logical. We have given her logical but that won't come into play right now. Her emotional side will overpower it. I'd say to expect a minimum of 2-3 years.
W said "oh I knoooooooow, belieeeeeeeve meeeeee I know"
and smiled.
We've had a few talks where it is very evident she has changed her opinion on D.
Last night we went to her parents and hung out for a long time. I think that two weeks ago she told her parents we were having a lot of trouble and probably led them to believe she was moving on. I think last night was to show them different. Her parents have been married for over 50 years and are my biggest supporter.
I guess in the past what has been frustrating is that I've seen many many small positive changes and always expected that they meant things were good. Never realizing that it would take a long cumulative effect. Good point.
Things have certainly changed. It feels good. Nothing absolutely definitive yet. But things seem good.
Tommorrow is our anniversary. That would be a good day for this D to be busted
