Your W and mine don't sound too similar, but you and I seem to be at similar points, I think. I've kind of just been able to begin detaching significantly...my wife is minimally affectionate, as am I, but not too much. If I were to stop everything, she would take that as me "taking my ball and going home", so I'm keeping things mainly at the level she set without trying to increase it...waiting on better signs from her.
We're experimenting with taking a couple of weeks off from MC, to see how we do on our own. We're Christians and our MC has her focusing on showing me respect above all things, and me loving her no matter what, unconditionally.
I've kind of latched on to this idea of loving her as always, but loving out of that strength, which means being able to do something for her (or receive something from her) and then being able to walk away or otherwise not expect anything back. Always positive, always strong.
And if I'm not feeling both positive and strong, I get the hell out of there
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'
