Thanks for the suggestion. Maybe something for later. I'm certain that it's not the right time now.
I don't think shaky is the right definition right now, not sure. But confused certainly may be.
I think my wife is wavering a lot in her mind and doesn't know what she wants. So R talks are out I think. I know she really loves me but for some reason she doesn't think she does. If that makes the least bit of sense.
She just got here and I'm taking her to the movies. She was shocked that I would wanna go in the middle of the day. Pulled a 180 and didn't even know until she pointed it out.
after the movies we were walking to our cars. I made no suggestion we go do anything else. When we got there she said she wanted to go to dinner and would I like to go. So we go out have a great 2-3 hour dinner. We have a great time together.
I decide I'm going to try to be a really really good listener and try to get her to do all the talking. It worked.
She hugged me tightly and kissed me again before taking off. So again, if I don't pursue, she seems to.
Last night I was working in the control room of the local tv station. We had a technical error so I had no sound in my booth. The monitor in front of me was on the hosts face. It did not switch between cameras. I didn't have much to do but watch the hosts face. She's a beautiful woman and very intelligent. The entire show all I did was watch her face and I was absolutely amazed at her listening ability. The expressions she constantly gave to show that she was interested and intrigued in what the guest was saying. And the effect it had. I learned a lot from watching her.
you know you are right - in general women dont know what they (we) want - we usually want what we got and the opposite all at the same time we want to be the centre of someones universe but we that someone to have a life, to be a strong person who is not dependent on us and someone who we have to work at keeping because they are so strong and independent that they may just go off and not come back while at the same time know that they wouldn't just go off as we are after all the centre of their universe.
how confusing for all eh?
Quote: Your the most important thing in the world to me"
next time try your 'one' of the most important things to me - of course the other things are yourself and your happiness, your business, your relationship with the lucky girl you see as your D etc etc now on the ladder of importance of she may be on the top rung but she wouldn't be on the ladder herself.
If as the female or the male in a relationship you are the adventure then the world revolves around you and the other person in the relationship wants to hang around you all the time, be with you, give you want you want when you want and is totally besotted and dependent on you. Everything they organise or do resolves around your happiness to the extent that they forgo what they want so you can have what you want. Kind of one of them people who say what do you want to do or where do you want to go all the time because they can't think of something to do that is just for them. You hear one person in a couple say often - she/he never makes a decision about what we are going to do this weekend, he/she never says hey how about we do xxxxxx, or he/she never goes and does anything on their own that they like instead he/she hangs around at home and does nothing (and usually the other partner would like some time alone at home especially if they are at work all the time and never get time alone to just vegie out doing nothing thinking of no-one because their partner has gone out doing something for themself (apart from grocery shopping) because they are the adventure and how tiring.
and what an awesome response when you just packed up and left - wonder what would happen if you packed up managed to leave and she got home and you were not there? Bet you'd get a phone call it seems that you are most definately on the right track here, creating a bit of mystery about where you are going and what you are thinking - and the result is lots of little clues from her to let you know all is going good between you.
well I guess I got over my speechless moments so if you did wake up tomorrow after the miracle occured tonight what would be the first thing that you would notice that was different about the day in those first moments after you opened your eyes - what would you be feeling, what would you be thinking and what would you notice that was different about YOU.
Not sure what's going on. Hanging out to find out.
Physical affection has mostly stopped. But actions and words seem to signify she's closer. Don't know but I'm considering myself to be in a "being tested" period.
I figure if I act needy in any way I'll blow it. So I don't ever initiate kissing with her. She took over initiating and then stopped.
Right now I'm studying Frank_d's thread. I'm amazed at the similarities.
I'm really also trying to pull off the 180 of doing nothing also.
I seem to be strongly regaining control. Becoming the Alpha. And I've noticed it working. I've also noticed that she has deffered to me even in the smallest things such as where to sit in a restaurant. May have been doing it all along. When she talks to people she says things like "Well H and I think..." She's basing her opinions on mine.
As I predicted she stayed up the hill a few days and then returned and now acts as if separation never happened.
I'm also working hard at not being affected by it all. Trying to get complete control of my emotions.
That has been a heck of a journey for me. I was thinking yesterday how ironic it is. Pre bomb drop I considerred myself to have no emotions. They were pretty well buried. Even as a kid I recognized that about myself. Then it became the complete opposite, they came out and I had no control of them.
Your W and mine don't sound too similar, but you and I seem to be at similar points, I think. I've kind of just been able to begin detaching significantly...my wife is minimally affectionate, as am I, but not too much. If I were to stop everything, she would take that as me "taking my ball and going home", so I'm keeping things mainly at the level she set without trying to increase it...waiting on better signs from her.
We're experimenting with taking a couple of weeks off from MC, to see how we do on our own. We're Christians and our MC has her focusing on showing me respect above all things, and me loving her no matter what, unconditionally.
I've kind of latched on to this idea of loving her as always, but loving out of that strength, which means being able to do something for her (or receive something from her) and then being able to walk away or otherwise not expect anything back. Always positive, always strong.
And if I'm not feeling both positive and strong, I get the hell out of there
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'
Quote: I've kind of latched on to this idea of loving her as always, but loving out of that strength, which means being able to do something for her (or receive something from her) and then being able to walk away or otherwise not expect anything back. Always positive, always strong.
Onward and Upward.
Oh, and go Xue!
Sven
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
