So Close

[toughlover]

xue

Thanks for your comments on my thread. I've been reading up on all of yours. Very interesting and helpful stuff.

I completely buy into the "they want to be taken on an adventure, not be the adventure" for many (not all) women. Up to a point.

I think mature women see strength and independence differently than immature women/girls.

My wife looks at my being able to turn down a woman showing interest in me as requiring way more strength than giving into her or chasing her. I also think mature women intuitively understand the strength it takes for a man to exhibit self-control, live a quiet (not necessarily boring) family life, guide and instruct his children, hold down a job that provides for them, take care of the house, equipment, etc.

And yes, sometimes that means spending time away, with friends or alone, but always honoring his vows while he's off with his buddies, always coming home, and always making it clear that the marriage comes first.

I think many of our wives want to know that we're strong enough to go off, have an (appropriately) good time, resist any temptations that come along, and then return to them. If we don't do that, they get uncomfortable and think we have an unhealthy dependence on them, or there's something else wrong with us (maybe we don't trust ourselves or have confidence in our own ability to be faithful and return???)

I think it makes them want to remind us that they are there (spontaneous affection), and they want to let us know we're wanted so that we know what we have to lose. The want to know we can face temptation but are strong enough to resist it and return to them.

Maybe