I've come back this morning to read this and it is certainly sinking in a bit.
The first part "being taken on an adventure" is becoming very clear but the secong "be the adventure" is still a bit murky but clearing up quickly. I am sure that the murkiness is absolutely due to my difficulty in seeing myself.
I could see it in you TJ. I cringed at the "Husband coupons" but then I gave husband coupons myself much earlier in the game. And I knew I shared the same problem. Just had a hard time identifying it myself.
When I pulled the Paul and Anne last week I did pretty damn good and then I blew it. Everything was perfect. I was exuding confidence and getting my message across. But then I ran out of words and said something stupid. I said something to the effect of "Your the most important thing in the world to me" Some driveling statement like that anyway. But in light of the current conversation the answer now makes perfect sense. "That's just too much pressure for me". Sensing I had blown it I pulled a save, toughened up and said "Well I gotta go" in pure caveman dumb toughness. And I pulled away. Got in the truck, drove off and didn't call until late that night.
Now I'm sure that the two of you, seeing this statement from the outside, could elaborate. Give it a shot.
Funny the qoute "Frankly my Dear, I don't give a damn started running through my head spontaneously a few days ago. Hmm.
Yesterday I pulled that attitude pretty well. Had slipped slightly but not to bad earlier in the week. Actually I shouldn't say slipped, I mean I didn't keep up the attitude as strongly as I should have (slipped). But last night I was leaving. I was gonna be gone for the evening and she would be also. I made it a point that I was going out. She was teaching classes and I made no efforts to go in and say goodbye. Just got my stuff and headed out. Well guess what? On my way out she left her class she was teaching and made some excuse to go to the car ahead of me. She turned around and grabbed me and kissed me. It was one of those one leg up reaching up to make sure I knew it was deliberate kinda kisses. Not just a casual cya later kinda thing. whoa.
So it seems that if I pull away and do not initiate a kiss or physical contact, she does. The seesaw is working. It was very difficult the last few days for me not to initiate. But it certainly has a payoff.
