Emily-I have gone through allthe emotions you have gone through. And I am the LBS that in the beginning was the WAS. I will tell you that all of the emotions that you are experiencing I go through almost everyday. I have driven a few (AmyC) batty on here and have experienced the same reaction. You are a Christian, and from my understaning, we mess up. We are not perfect only one is perfect and he resides upstairs. Don't pay attention to those who are judging you . If you say you want to go F%$K someone on this board or cheat then say it. No one should judge you. They should however tell you what the consequences are with compassion. I have screwed up considerably and some people think I am crazy on this board. This is the most difficult thing I have ever had to face. I am more scared in this fight than I have ever been in anything in my life. I don't blame you for wanting to retaliate. I know I fight it all the time. But don't do it. It is temporary and will only make a bad sitch worse. My W "moved" on I think it hurt us even more for trying to work it out. We only need one jackass in the family not two. I can only imagine how you feel but hang in there. You can talk to me on the Seperated thread if you would like. And eveyone else on here: If we can't vent and act stupid and say things that make no sense, then where can we go? Tread lightly.
I have nothing to say about all the advice. . . I'm not ready!
I will say that I am only so damn angry because RB felt the need to step in and as much as say I AM WORTHLESS.
WELL WTF?? I have one "man" in my life telling me I am worthless. . . I damn sure don't need two! So . . . I just wanted to clear that up and tell him to bugger off.
Forgive me for venting all my feelings here. I figured better here than to my H or to my friends and family.
A lot has happened. . . but I am not getting into it now. Maybe in a few days . . .
So RB as I have said . . if you don't like me DON'T READ ME. Plain and simple . . don't appologize you won't break my heart . . . but just leave me alone if you can do NOTHING but belittle and be ignorant. I am allowed to post here until my dying day or they ban me or the site closes. . . doesn't mean you have to read does it? If you can't say anything nice (I'm not talking about harsh advice . . I appreciate that . . I took EVERYTHING up until RB stepped in and made a laughing stock of me) PLEASE don't say it on my thread!
Please understand that I would love nothing better than for you to prove me wrong. I would love nothing better than for you to put your girls' well-being above your own romantic desires. I would love nothing better than for you to decide to take charge of your life and quit playing the victim. I would love for you to decide that you ARE going to change, and then do it.
But I don't think that's going to happen, because I think you'd rather live life as a victim. You're doing it yet again with the whole "RB was so mean to me" routine. Feeling sorry for yourself is so much easier for you than doing anything about it.
Finally, Emily, I don't think you're worthless. It's precisely the opposite. Your life is worth so much that it hurts me deeply to see you throwing it away. It pains me to see you looking for casual sex. My spirit cries out for you when flip-flop between saying that your kids need your H as a father and that your H is an abuser that you need to protect your kids from. I want you to have a full and abundant life, full of peace and joy, and it makes me sad to see you on the self-destructive path that you're on right now.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Quote: I am at a loss as to how to help you. I WANT to. God knows I don't want to be a bad example of a person of faith to you. But I guess I am and I am sorry for that. That is my failure and I don't want you to look at my failure and EVER question the ability and willingness of Jesus Christ to come into your life and change you and everything around you.
Amy, I believe you were correct to be outraged at Emily's declaration of her intention to sleep around. There are plenty of good examples in both Testaments of moral outrage. Your attitude was appropriate, and I don't believe you have anything to apologize for. If you had let that go with only a mild expression of disapproval, it would have signaled to Emily that it wasn't a big deal. In actuality, you know at least as well as I do that if Emily is ultimately to respect herself, she will need to be faithful to her marriage vows until if and when her marriage is dissolved, and that she still needs to maintain her sexual integrity at that point.
Don't let Emily send you on a guilt trip that you don't deserve.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
