This is very tiring. Too many of us have gotten 'caught up' in this very emotional situation and are bringing our own issues into it.
Emily has been coming from a very very deep emotional place where nothing seems to make sense and her 'answers' to the problems seem to change hourly.
Som here are doing what we tell ourselves NOT to do with OUR WAS's. Reacting. Not staying 'solid', 'consistent' and 'like a rock'.
How much of this is coming from a need to express the frustration with Emily that we may feel with our WAS but CAN NOT EXPRESS to them? Many of the things that have been SAID here by RB and others we can all 'agree' with. That doesn't mean they were said in the best manner possible to a LBS who is in THE SAME, BUT DIFFERENT place in her life as her WAS is.
Emily, I see you and your H as mirror images of the same issues. If he hadn't left, I think eventually you would have and he'd be the one on the board trying to get help.
As it turns out, it's you who is here rioght now and it's him who is 'out there'. Since that's the case will YOU PLEASE promise me that you will really really look at what you are about to post, and think about what many of us have been telling you before you decide it 'represents' what you REALLY want? Your posts often come across as confusion or anger because you are writing from a place of confusion and pure emotion.
You need to help yourself by writing what you are thinking, then reading it, then thinking about what you have written and whether or not it really is an attempt to work towards solutions to your problem, or just to vent and complain.
Then re-think and re-write it in such a way that we, as your mentors, can understand what you are ASKING for.
In other words: Slow down.
Slooooow Doooowwwwnnnnn
Slow
Breath, relax, get out of your emotions and into your LOGICAL mind.
Stop REACTING. It's time to start working on this and that means slowing down and thinking about things.
Please do this for yourself. It will make you feel like you are accomplishing something instead of spinning your wheels.
Then it will be easier for everyone else not to 'react' as if you are acting like OUR WAS's do.
