We can't tell you what is wrong with you, because there isn't anything wrong with you. You have so much room to grow, and so much potential. People are frustrated with things they see you doing and not doing, but that's their issue, not yours.
I have a request of you, and this is going to be far from what you are hearing from everyone else on this board. I would like to ask you to please come over to my sitch and read up and advise me where you can. I really think your perspective may be invaluable to me. I hope you do find it in your heart to help me out.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
Quote: I have a request of you, and this is going to be far from what you are hearing from everyone else on this board. I would like to ask you to please come over to my sitch and read up and advise me where you can. I really think your perspective may be invaluable to me. I hope you do find it in your heart to help me out.
Great idea!!! When I started reading other peoples threads and talking to them was when I started feeling better. It tends to take you mind off your own problems. Plus, sometimes reading what others are doing or saying helps give you ideas of what to do or not to do.
I am praying for you Emily. I know you have it in you.
I want to apologize to you for being downright mean in my last posts to you yesterday. I won't tell you that you don't aggravate the pure hell out of me at times, but that is no excuse for me to resort to the things I resorted to to try to get your attention. Please forgive me.
I am at a loss as to how to help you. I WANT to. God knows I don't want to be a bad example of a person of faith to you. But I guess I am and I am sorry for that. That is my failure and I don't want you to look at my failure and EVER question the ability and willingness of Jesus Christ to come into your life and change you and everything around you.
Emily, the biggest problem facing you is the fundamental changes that are necessary to change the dynamic of your family, with or without Kevin present. Change is hard. It is terrifying. You are going to need help.
I really want you to get into counseling because while we can help with some of the things you are facing, we cannot get to the root of your problem. You MUST get to the root or all your changes will only be on the surface and none will be lasting. That's something I can tell you first hand Jesus will help you through. Emily we ALL have "weeds" that are the "bad" parts of our lives. It may be our attitudes, our habits...any of a countless number of things. But you claim to be a believer and that makes you a witness for Christ. Does any aspect of your life right now glorify the One you pray to?
When other people that are believers, like some of us here, come down hard on you it is because 1) We are trying to get you to see the futility of your behavior, attitude and impulsiveness and 2) we are angered by the fact it seems you think God, the One we know, is sitting on a throne ready to wave a magic wand. Emily, He will bless your life but He will require something of you. A show of faith. A willingness to change. To let Him pull those "weeds" out of your life, cultivate you and be glorified when you finally "bloom". Do you understand what I am trying to tell you? God is not a magician. For every single promise that is in the Bible, a qualifying statement precedes it. For instance, you may have heard that if you resist the "devil", he will flee. Well that is true but read the line above it and you will find the first thing you have to do is "submit to God".
Emily, submit to God. Ask Him into your heart. Ask Him to come into your life and save you.
Quote: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
I certainly don't believe that I've cast any stones. I do, however, have a huge problem with anyone quoting Bible verses to this forum one day and asking for advice on how to cheat the next. That's incredibly offensive to me as a Christian, and I won't apologize for calling Emily a hypocrite -- that's what the definition of a hypocrite is.
Asking this board for advice on how to cheat is the exact opposite of what this board is for.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Quote: I do, however, have a huge problem with anyone quoting Bible verses to this forum one day and asking for advice on how to cheat the next. That's incredibly offensive to me as a Christian, and I won't apologize for calling Emily a hypocrite -- that's what the definition of a hypocrite is.
RB ~ It's called LOST.
Has it been so long since you lost your way that you have forgotten what it looks and sounds like!
This is very tiring. Too many of us have gotten 'caught up' in this very emotional situation and are bringing our own issues into it.
Emily has been coming from a very very deep emotional place where nothing seems to make sense and her 'answers' to the problems seem to change hourly.
Som here are doing what we tell ourselves NOT to do with OUR WAS's. Reacting. Not staying 'solid', 'consistent' and 'like a rock'.
How much of this is coming from a need to express the frustration with Emily that we may feel with our WAS but CAN NOT EXPRESS to them? Many of the things that have been SAID here by RB and others we can all 'agree' with. That doesn't mean they were said in the best manner possible to a LBS who is in THE SAME, BUT DIFFERENT place in her life as her WAS is.
Emily, I see you and your H as mirror images of the same issues. If he hadn't left, I think eventually you would have and he'd be the one on the board trying to get help.
As it turns out, it's you who is here rioght now and it's him who is 'out there'. Since that's the case will YOU PLEASE promise me that you will really really look at what you are about to post, and think about what many of us have been telling you before you decide it 'represents' what you REALLY want? Your posts often come across as confusion or anger because you are writing from a place of confusion and pure emotion.
You need to help yourself by writing what you are thinking, then reading it, then thinking about what you have written and whether or not it really is an attempt to work towards solutions to your problem, or just to vent and complain.
Then re-think and re-write it in such a way that we, as your mentors, can understand what you are ASKING for.
In other words: Slow down.
Slooooow Doooowwwwnnnnn
Slow
Breath, relax, get out of your emotions and into your LOGICAL mind.
Stop REACTING. It's time to start working on this and that means slowing down and thinking about things.
Please do this for yourself. It will make you feel like you are accomplishing something instead of spinning your wheels.
Then it will be easier for everyone else not to 'react' as if you are acting like OUR WAS's do.
"I have choice and free will. I am accountable for my thoughts, feelings and actions. Today I commit myself to positive change. I will give 110 percent of myself, 100 percent of the time. I will commit to love myself and be strong. To be the best person I can be. To live my life in God's light and stop looking over my shoulder. If I do my best, I will succeed. I will survive."
