I want to apologize to you for being downright mean in my last posts to you yesterday. I won't tell you that you don't aggravate the pure hell out of me at times, but that is no excuse for me to resort to the things I resorted to to try to get your attention. Please forgive me.
I am at a loss as to how to help you. I WANT to. God knows I don't want to be a bad example of a person of faith to you. But I guess I am and I am sorry for that. That is my failure and I don't want you to look at my failure and EVER question the ability and willingness of Jesus Christ to come into your life and change you and everything around you.
Emily, the biggest problem facing you is the fundamental changes that are necessary to change the dynamic of your family, with or without Kevin present. Change is hard. It is terrifying. You are going to need help.
I really want you to get into counseling because while we can help with some of the things you are facing, we cannot get to the root of your problem. You MUST get to the root or all your changes will only be on the surface and none will be lasting. That's something I can tell you first hand Jesus will help you through. Emily we ALL have "weeds" that are the "bad" parts of our lives. It may be our attitudes, our habits...any of a countless number of things. But you claim to be a believer and that makes you a witness for Christ. Does any aspect of your life right now glorify the One you pray to?
When other people that are believers, like some of us here, come down hard on you it is because 1) We are trying to get you to see the futility of your behavior, attitude and impulsiveness and 2) we are angered by the fact it seems you think God, the One we know, is sitting on a throne ready to wave a magic wand. Emily, He will bless your life but He will require something of you. A show of faith. A willingness to change. To let Him pull those "weeds" out of your life, cultivate you and be glorified when you finally "bloom". Do you understand what I am trying to tell you? God is not a magician. For every single promise that is in the Bible, a qualifying statement precedes it. For instance, you may have heard that if you resist the "devil", he will flee. Well that is true but read the line above it and you will find the first thing you have to do is "submit to God".
Emily, submit to God. Ask Him into your heart. Ask Him to come into your life and save you.
