Quote: It's going to be hard because as I said he was going to come see us this weekend.
See, this is how you set yourself up for failure. Do not go into it thinking about how hard it will be. Go into it telling yourself you WILL succeed.
Quote: I just talked to him. . he was a little upset about the VM that I left him.
Boo frickin' hoo for him. No, you shouldn't have left that VM, but he isn't exactly an shining example of what should be, is he?
Quote: I told him I was sorry . . that I was panicked and I knew I shouldn't have left it.
Ok, but stop apologizing to him. Not that you were wrong to do so, but just try to get yourself out of the "poor me, I'm not in control, please forgive me" mindset.
Quote: I asked him not to be mad at me.
See above.
Quote: I asked him if we were "OK" then. (I ment not bitter and fighting by this.)
Stop asking him things like this. Act like you do not care. This question makes you seem needy and scared. What do you care if he think things are hunky dory? He left you, cheated on his pregnant wife, and has jerked you around like you're his personal plaything. Who cares if he's all ok with things?
Quote: I don't know what's going on this weekend.
Not your problem.
He knows where you live. He has your number. He knows his kids are there. DO NOT do his work for him.
Quote: He said he might try to call later.
Now Emily... don't do what you usually do. Don't get hysterical when he doesn't call. And if he does call, don't answer the phone. Do not answer the phone. Let him leave a message. You have a toddler and a newborn, you can't go running to the phone every time it rings, anyway.
Quote: When we hung up I said well I love you . .
Stop saying that. He knows you love him. Stop it.
Quote: If he doesn't show up or at least call it'll be hard because I know where he will be this weekend. WITH HER. That's going to drive me crazy.
Again -- self-fulfilling prophesy. Don't think like that. It will only drive you crazy if you let it. Be in charge of your own emotions.
