Yes, you let him know how YOU feel Emily. You are not him. If he doesn't give a damn about his girls, you or the little ones, then you can't MAKE him. Venting your frustration at his behavior is not likely to make him want MORE interaction with the family.
Just like with the rest of the marriage issues, there is very little you can do beyond legally making him pay his share. You can't make him see them, OR you. You can't make him want things that he doesn't want.
What you CAN do is allow him to learn to miss them and if you keep calling every 5 minutes to remind him what an a-hole he is being, I somehow he will make time to miss any part of that experience. Let him go Emily. Yelling at him on his VM... do you REALLY think that's going to make him realize all of a sudden that what he is doing is wrong or did you just do it because it made YOU feel better.
You have to start measuring your actions and decisions by that rule. Are you doing whatever just to make you FEEL good at the moment, or NOT feel badly, or is it really going to make a positive impact on your life/sitch?
Quote: If you need financial support, do what you need to do.
Child support has been filed for 2 months now. They "can't find him" so I don't even have a court date yet! I am already recieving all the state assistance I am eligable for. (I hate it but it's necessary)
I just really don't want to admit that's it's over between and he's going to be with her. I HATE IT . . . it bothers me. I don't know what else to say.
He's a ^&*^%&$*%%&*$*$*%$#*^$& . . . and I can't believe he is going to treat his girls like they are $hit for some stupid whore.
Quote: You have to start measuring your actions and decisions by that rule. Are you doing whatever just to make you FEEL good at the moment, or NOT feel badly, or is it really going to make a positive impact on your life/sitch?
I don't think anything will.
The whole sitch is total $hit. I am angry at life. That's all there is to it. I love him and he's an [censored] . . he's doing wrong to his children . . . he's been wronging me. I wish he would just die.
BUT . . when the hell do I get to feel OK again? I am NOT putting myself through a divorce.. I get that I have to own my mistakes . . but why the hell doesn't he have to own his? If it were up to me we would at least try. . . BUT I don't get to make a choice. I HAVE TO LIVE WITH HIS CHOICE . . I have to live with being divorced with two kids. I know that I can make choices from there . . It's just hard to see out of this lovely hole I've dug myself into.
Um... I'll go with that Amy. I had something more harsh written but decided against posting it. Like my mama said, if you don't have something nice to say... lol.
I'll leave it at this. We keep saying how smart, strong, wonderful, kind, exceptional, beautiful, etc, you are Emily. At some point you will have to actually live up to that billing. I'm not say you are NOT those things, but at some point they need to be more than words strangers on a website attach to your virtual likeness. At some point you actually have to start BEING those things we all think you are.
Quote: BUT . . when the hell do I get to feel OK again?
When YOU freaking CHOOSE to feel ok. It REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE!
Quote: I am NOT putting myself through a divorce..
No, but from the looks of things, your life may be dramatically improved if you can learn to be an independant woman of substance because if it. Silver linings DO exist!
Quote: I get that I have to own my mistakes . . but why the hell doesn't he have to own his?
He does, YOU don't. What you REALLY mean is "why do I have to own HIS mistakes too?" You don't. You choose to. You choose to make everything he does about you, and vise versa. Stop it now!
Quote: If it were up to me we would at least try. . .
No, if it were up to you, this would have never happened, there would be peace in the middle east and Lance Bass would not be gay. There are a TON of things, actually almost EVERYTHING, in this world that you do not control. Get over it. Learn to control what you can... YOU!
Quote: BUT I don't get to make a choice. I HAVE TO LIVE WITH HIS CHOICE . .
BS. Like I said. You CHOOSE to do this. Nobody is forcing you to live with anything other than those two girls. Make a DIFFERENT choice. Choose to let him live his own life, and you yours!
Quote: I have to live with being divorced with two kids.
Not yet, but IF you do, what makes you think you are any different than the millions of successful women out there who have lived that life before you?
Quote: I know that I can make choices from there . . It's just hard to see out of this lovely hole I've dug myself into.
Stop digging today. Really, stop. Make those choices starting right now!
GH I'm obviously not any of those things or else he would have never been able to walk away.
I know my attitude sucks . . . sorry. I'm VERY depressed today. Can't seem to pull myself up at all. I just feel like $hit. I mean she calls with OM and calls him an a$$hole wants nothing to do with him and he leaves me again to chase her. I stand through everything trying to smile and I always take him back with open arms and I'm worthless in his eyes. His girls mean nothing to him. . .
Quote: Not yet, but IF you do, what makes you think you are any different than the millions of successful women out there who have lived that life before you?
I guess I don't feel strong enough to get through. . . I don't see any silver linings or success here. I can't look at the positives today. I really just want to crawl into bed and curl up and wake up when it's all over.
