Thanks Santhony . . That's my problem . . . LETTING GO! I just want to be in control!
I was doing soooo well . . . I am so sorry all! SOOO SORRY!!!
I just wanted to add that when he said about maybe not being able to call I gave him some crap story about how I was going out anyway. I really don't have plans . . Emily may stop by . . . but I just wanted him to think I wouldn't be sitting at home feeling miserable.
Tomorrow morning I am going up the farm with Kerry (a friend) and we are going to go out riding. I can't wait! I used to LOVE to ride. If I could just get back in touch with animal I feel that I could put myself on a more even plain . . I love nature . . it seems to help balance me . . If I had my furrbaby to hug and cry on right now . . I wouldn't need Kevin. I don't want to cry on my babies that's not fair to them . . and I never cry to my friends. I miss my pets
Anyway . . . . It can't get worse. So maybe I'll be divorced. . . Maybe I wasn't right for him. . I came to terms with all of this before . . . although I'm not sure how.
If I really am a "fat man" looking women . . . what are the odds of me ever getting back into a R . .. I'm laughing here guys . . . just laugh with me. I know of 3 guys who would date me kids and all (I know this isn't important right now. I don't need another person so soon .. ) It's the point that I must not be that bad looking . . . Different maybe . . . but certainly not ugly.
