Quote: I don't want to make the decision to end my M. Which is what I feel I have to do if I want a clear head and a good life. I don't want to be the one who opts out. I don't want out at all. But he is soo confused and he obviously doesn't love me . . . clearly!
Is there some reason the marriage has to come to a complete end right now? You have made it this far, hang in there. I am going on 17 months with my H gone and he has not made any move toward divorce. I don't want one and I will not take the first step. As hard as it is, just move forward with your life. You don't have to go out and party or anything, just pretend like your H is on an extended vacation or away from the house for work reasons. It doesn't make the pain go away any easier, it just helps you continue on. If he wants the divorce, let him be the one to take care of it. You will find more than likely he is just trying to get you in an uproar again.
Don't listen to him when he starts talking about her. Tell him that you don't care to discuss his problems. Sometimes the least amount you know, the better off you are.
Quote: I just wanted to be good enough . . .
You are good enough. Actually, you are too good for him. He isn't a man right now. He is just a shell of the former man you married. He left you when you were pregnant. To me that is no man. Let him have his space and grow up. You already have 2 great daughters to raise, you don't need an over aged son to raise too.
Quote: I was getting up ON MY OWN . . and he freakin kicked me down again.
Don't let him kick you down. Be strong. Put on that suit of armor that all us women have. It will aggrevate him more if he can't break you down.
Quote: He couldn't have just stayed gone . . oh no . . . I would have been fine. Now it's going to take me time to get there again.
You can get there again. Just keep telling yourself that no matter what, you have won. You have your daughters and what does he have? He has one mixed up mind and is alone. You are the ones who get to put those precious girls to bed at night. You are the one they wake up to. Even though they are young they will remember everything YOU have done for them. They will remember he wasn't around for them.
Now, you stand up, take a deep breath and begin the first day of the rest of your life as a strong person. Don't let your H win the battle. Kick that little devil of negativity off your shoulder and think positive about things. They don't call me trying2staypositive for any other reason except I try to look at all the positives in my situation. I throw the negatives away. I throw it out with the trash and let those nice gentlemen take it away each week with the rest of the garbage.
You will have up days and down days as we all do. Don't let the down days take over. I'm rooting for you!!!!!
