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I don't want to make the decision to end my M.


Then don't.
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I know that my self worth comes from myself but it's always a pleasure to know that someone else thinks you're great too.


Then show everyone how great you are.
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I was getting up ON MY OWN . . and he freakin kicked me down again.

You seem to really enjoy being down. Maybe you should spend some time figuring out why, and whether you want this to continue, instead of worrying about your messed up H's bad decisions and all the drama they yield.

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ”
– Albert Einstein