Don't make your choices contingent on him and his. This is what we're trying to get through to you. Make your choices for yourself. Right now, it seems your choice is to remain open to reconciliation. You've made your choice, now move on. You can't control his choices. Let go of that and move on to you. Focus on making your life something you are proud of.
Quote: When he's here . . . we can move on.
True - thinking about it now does you no good.
Quote: But this limbo where he doesn't know what he wants!!! IT HURTS
You are actively hurting yourself with this - stop it, take a break. Your H's decision seems to you to be the only thing that will rescue you from the pain. It's not and it won't. You need to make the choice to no longer live in this pain. Regardless of the choices your H makes.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
