I didn't even have to chime in to burn through a whole page full!
I am making a list of things that I WILL do BEFORE I die. I am going to make myself do EVERY last one. Most of them are silly (I.E. Own a "Crotch Rocket" (have a license to ride it OBVIOUSLY) . . . Breed and sell SOME breed of reptile (I've ALWAYS wanted to do this) Own at least two more APBT's . . . have some puppies.) They are silly little goals . . but they mean that I have to get to a stable place in my life where I can afford to venture into any of these things. I'm not thinking about my R right now . . . I don't want to. I will be friends with Kev and I will tell him that I will lovingly openly take him back. I mean it too. I'm not sure about this weekend. Maybe I'll hole up in my room and let him alone with the girls for awhile. I don't know. I want to let him stop. I want to see him face to face for a minute. (I colored my hair . . . and I know he LOVES that. . I want him to see what he is missing out on.) Either way. . . I don't have to figure that all out right now. I have time. I need to think some more. . . I need to put myself in order. . . and get my emotions under control first. . . I've spent today in a TOTAL fog and internal battle. I'm in no shape to make objective decisions . . I am trying to get back to that place. Most of all I need to have a few more heart to hearts with God and see what happens.
