Apologies for taking so long to get to this. Just got really involved with some IRL stuff and are just now able to get back to it.
Let me see if I can summarize what you said earlier and we can go from there. There was a lot of back and forth comments on Corri's thread that may need to get restated as well. Anyway ...
Your main point seemed to be that it was FOO issues that contributed most to the conditions leading up to my mental state being open to an EA. And although I was working on a variety of things in my M and my self-esteem, it was the avoidance in dealing with the deep FOO issues that caused me to effectively not change my internal propensity to create a situation in which the EA would persist and another EA develop. And you also see that if I do not deal with those issues, another EA remains a future possibility. That basically no matter what I do in my M, my FOO is a "monkey on my back" that will constantly sabotage my efforts until I consciously deal with it. Is that close?
I am intrigued by this idea, because I did think I was dealing with my FOO issues, but perhaps it was only tangentially. I can see how my efforts at improving my self-esteem could have been focused on the here and now and not with how my self-esteem got so low in the first place. I guess you might say I just put new wooden boards over the old rotting ones instead of trying to figure out why the old boards were rotting. My C and I did talk about my history, but we really haven't delved deeply into it.
My question to you would be specifically how could my FOO connect with my internal failings re: the propensity to create EA situations? This is a question I plan to ask my C in our next session, and I will pass along his advice. The next question is what do I do about it? If it truly is my FOO that is kicking my legs out from under me, I want to stop it from doing so. Is just being aware of the problem enough to allow you to make a conscious decision to stop it, or is there something more?
I'd like to talk about this if you are willing.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
