I won't disagree that talking to your MC about the possible aftermath is probably a good approach. I just was truly trying to make sure that you realized that at some point coming clean is still an absolute must...and that you hadn't possibly convinced yourself (due to time passing) that "well maybe if I just don't say anyting at all everything will be fine....she doesn't have to know."...that kind of thing.
I suppose I'm coming at it from the betrayed spouse's perspective that...the longer you put it off, the more pain and resentment you will add....because (just IMPO) it's that much longer that she is the pawn of a deception, living a life that is not the reality she believes it to be. I can tell you that it wasn't just the fact that my H did what he did in our M that truly pissed me off...it was the fact that I felt that HE had me living a lie and knew it....because he of course knew what was going on (as do you), but I didn't. I felt like a pawn, that is I fear how your W will feel as well. I suppose that's why I urge you to not wait too long.
I don't say that to preach at you, or to convince you to come clean right this second. Just giving you some food for thought on how this will make her feel, so perhaps you will know how to approach things when you do come clean.
