HP, Chrome,
I agree with the danger of having an opposite sex friend as a confidante, especially when both of you are in troubled relationships. If you do go there, you should look at each and every communication and honestly assess whether you would share it with your S. If not, then you shouldn't be sharing it with someone else, and it should be a red flag telling you that you are getting into an innappropriate relationship. I know it can feel good to be talking to a F who empathizes with your pain, and that can be very alluring. An EA can sneak up on you that way when you aren't really expecting it, and next thing you know you can't wait to hear from her etc. Keep applying the would I share this communication with my S test on every single communication you have to keep you off the slippery slope. Oh, and point out the slope to your friend if you see them sending you stuff that you wouldn't share with your S as well, KWIM?
HP, perhaps I am a little different than other guys. I don't bond well with guys for whatever reason. Maybe its my lack of interest in sports or something, or maybe it goes back to before I was married and was looking for an R, I don't know. My closest friendships have all been with F's, but I've also become somewhat sensitized to MrsGGB's feelings regarding having F friends, so I've been very careful to stay away from the slope (even when sorely tempted when I was feeling at my lowest in my R with MrsGGB).
Chrome, like I said before, we will miss you. Godspeed my friend. You've got a rough road ahead of you, but I am confident you can manage it and that when you do you'll come out the other end a much stronger person.
Edited to add:
Chrome, I don't mean to be implying that having F friends is a good idea in your case, in fact, until you get past whatever drives you to seek out these EA's you should probably AVOID developing any friendships with women. It may very well be that you need to deal with it cold turkey the way a recovering alcoholic has to deal with his addiction.
