Chrome, come on out with it. If you feel your only choices are "breaking your heart" and "destroying your family" then it's clear that your heart is captive to something/someone other than your family.
Hence, "breaking your heart" is to stop whatever relationship you are having outside of your marriage and "destroying your family" is to pursue the relationship at the expense of your family.
My suggestion would be to go to your family doctor, get on Welbutrin, which will help you stop wallowing in the cesspool of dramatic emotion long enough to get your head above the fog and make good decisions.
I never could understand why your wife didn't want to talk about your extramarital relationship. Her recent sexuality, based on what you had told us, I attributed to a last-ditch effort to have baby #4. However, with these latest hints of what you've actually been doing, I wonder if her recent hypersexuality is a result of knowing something is going on extramaritally.
