****Live life without Fear - fear of failure or of pain. How often do we choose not to risk the jump for fear of the fall?
We agree on that. That's a start.
****But don't apologise for who you are.
I don't have all the answers and do not pretend to. Nobody is infallible. Life is a journey yes. Hopefully it is a journey of looking at our faults and trying to correct them to be a better person. IMO with the idea of "But don't apologise for who you are" will never allow you to look at your character flaws and weaknesses. This keeps you from being a stronger person. I guess we disagree here.
**** Vow to make each day better than the last, learn from your mistakes, and heal the hurts as best you can. How can you walk forward if you're always looking back?
We agree and disagree here. You can't live in regret, but I think regret is part of the healing process to take you to the next level of making change so you WILL learn from your mistakes. If you do not REGET them, how can your learn from them????
****But I knew when I got married it was the wrong thing for the wrong reasons...I just pushed it out of my mind as bridal jitters. I knew I should have called it off but I didn't, and so I paid the price
ME TOO.
****My only saddness is that my ex and my son will pay for my foolishness too.
I did not and DO not love my wife. I WILL not stay in a marriage "for the kids", but I think they are enough reason to give it at least on last shot. THEY will suffer more. Not me. But I guess we have different world views.
****Yes, I was abused for seven years by one of my brothers. At one point i wasn't sure who was going to kill me first, me or him. I went through all the stages of grief and I had a lot of issues for awhile, but I have a very strong spirit.
That is a VERY brave thing to admit. IMO men who rape or abuse children need a long slow death. I really do hate that you had to go through that and have to deal with that pain.
****And that is another reason I live without regret. I admit, I threw myself a pity party or two in the beginning. I blamed my brother for the things i had become, and the things I'd never had a chance at. But misery is a choice, just like happiness.
OK. Put your guard down for just a min. and absorb this. Yes misery is a choice like happiness. I think you have some powerful good coping skills. Many other women who were abused the way you were would be in complete shambles and a trainwreck. You are a strong person.
Those coping skills helped you get through an AWFUL AWFUL circumstance. You obviously have a strong mind. Those coping skills were exactly RIGHT at the time, but they may not be right for day to day life. You know normal day to day life. You can't continue to put up the shroud of your defense mechanism for all of your problems.
To be a leader, you have to wash feet. To be proud, you need to be humble. You are cerebral, but to have knowledge you have to know you know nothing.
That does not make you a doormat or a weak person. In fact it makes you strong. Because that is the hardest thing to do.
I don't like to "compare" pain. Whatever pain someone is going through is still pain for them. But trust me when I tell you, I have felt pain equal or worse than yours. I'm not one of those "grew up on daddy's credit card" type of people. I am very sensitive to those who have had pain.
Tear down the walls of everything you believe about life and rebuild. You may come to the same conclusion, but you may find a whole new world to. If your scared, just say your scared.
