Joker, I can definitely see where my personal slogan may come across wrong on this sort of forum. Know that it isn't meant the way you took it, though I can see how you got there. The glory of miscommunication...lol. The thing is, that slogan came about when i first started trying to get published as an author; it's my reminder that no matter how many rejection letters I get, my work is just as worthy (and sometimes worthier) of publication as the stuff already on the shelves.

Live life without Fear - fear of failure or of pain. How often do we choose not to risk the jump for fear of the fall?

Live life without Apology - Apologise for mistakes, actions that didn't measure up or that hurt others. But don't apologise for who you are. We're all on a journey and we're taking it one step after another. Where we are is sometimes a long road from where we were, and we've all got a long road to go, but each of us is doing the best we can RIGHT NOW.

Live life without Regret - Frequently we make mistakes, and sometimes others pay the price. Sometimes others hurt us too, can even change the choices we might have made. Don't forget the lessons that go with with mistakes, but don't let the mistakes rule you either. Vow to make each day better than the last, learn from your mistakes, and heal the hurts as best you can. How can you walk forward if you're always looking back?

And I really do appreciate the advice, especially as it come from another who has fallen from grace. But I knew when I got married it was the wrong thing for the wrong reasons...I just pushed it out of my mind as bridal jitters. I knew I should have called it off but I didn't, and so I paid the price. My only saddness is that my ex and my son will pay for my foolishness too.

As to your other questions:
I grew up with three brothers, now 29, 26, and 19. My parents are celebrating their 30th anniversary in September with a cruise. My dad and I (both of my parents in fact) get along famously. This whole situation with my ex and my SO has him baffled, but we haven't let it hurt our relationship.

It's very astute of you to ask me if I was abused; that shows the mark of someone used to looking beyond the behavior to the CAUSE. And I'm impressed...too many times we forget to ask WHY someone is doing the things they do. Kudos to you for knowing the right question.

Yes, I was abused for seven years by one of my brothers. At one point i wasn't sure who was going to kill me first, me or him. I went through all the stages of grief and I had a lot of issues for awhile, but I have a very strong spirit. I continue to heal, and he and i have come to terms. We get along quite well now and I know he'd be the first to come to my rescue in a bad situation.

And that is another reason I live without regret. I admit, I threw myself a pity party or two in the beginning. I blamed my brother for the things i had become, and the things I'd never had a chance at. But misery is a choice, just like happiness. And i am a stronger person for what i have experienced. Because I have seen some of the darkest sides of man, I been able to help others understand and cope. My choices define who I am, not my circumstances.

Until your next post...I wish you happiness.