My wife has been the same way...in just about every detail. I used to hold out hope for imporovement at first but as it's been more than 12 years I've resigned myself to the fact that that's as good as it's ever going to get.
Yep....more than every other day and she's sore. Even on an every-other day basis the odds of it being tolerable for her only about 50-50. The other half of the time we just have to stop...all lubed and gunked up for nothing. And she's resigned to it and refuses to talk to a doctor about it. And she's not even in menopause yet.
She put up a good act through the honeymoon and first year of marriage...only because she wanted to get pregnant (which thank God never happened. And now, never is, due to other medical issues).
Penis too big? I don't think so, even though my own is only slightly under that 8-inch mark. It's not a matter of deep penetration, believe me, because we've considered that and I've tried other things to get around that. And yes, we know about the importance of lube - wouldn't think of going without it - but even with it (and we've tried Astroglide but found it no better than KY liquid) the chances of "success" aren't any better than above. Then so many times I get so mentally wrapped up in worrying about it hurting her that I either don't enjoy it and/or can't keep it up and/or don't get it up in the first place. And it's not me because on my own when I don't have to worry about her my success is 100%.
Bah. After a dozen years of this b.s. and being the only one to care enough to put any effort into doing anything about it, I've given up. As of the last few months, I don't even initiate anymore...and she now cares even less. Once every few months she gets turned on by some romantic movie and then we make an attempt and have that same old 50% chance of it being any good. Who needs it?
For years I've realized that the best sex life I ever had was the one I had with myself before I got married. And that's exactly what I've gone back to. If and when she ever cares again, we can try it again. If I even still care myself by then.
