If you want to have sex more frequently, why don't you mix up your activities a bit? For instance, if your W is otherwise agreeable to a second round, why don't you make it oral rather than intercourse? I also agree about the lubrication being key. I'm quite HD but also fairly "thin-skinned" so I can definitely understand how "soreness" could be a limiting factor for some women. It's definitely the kind of thing, like avoiding sunburn, where prevention is necessary. In addition to lubrication, your wife might consider avoiding the excess use of any sort of drying cleaning products. Also, many women have low-level untreated yeast infections that lead to genital rawness.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
