Ok...gonna be real blunt with you since you are a "fixer". The harder you work at "fixing" her...the more it will backfire on you. Concentrate on YOU and your behavior...that is the ONLY thing you have any control to fix. Oh, and by that I don't mean "if I do this then she'll do that."...I mean work on your internal issues and your real behavioral issues (control, not putting her on a pedestal etc)...for you and the health of your R, not what if might gain you.
You cannot make her see her problems, much less deal with them....this has to happen from within her. What I still hear from you is YOU concentrating on HER in your posts....not on your own behaviors. Your getting there...but you are still focused on her.
Now...if you really want to be true to yourself and honest with her..next time Thursday rolls around and she behaves the way she did last week (and she will)...turn it down. Call her on her behavior...override your hormones (which you can co) and don't accept sex in the manner she's offering it. Right now with both of you approaching sex in this manner (which is the least of your real issues) you are going to both build even more resentment and hurt feelings....how will that help the situation? She already knows sex is an issue for you...you've communicated that...stop focusing on trying to communicate that to her...she's heard you.
Concentrate on your behaviors...for you, take your focus off of her, you will be surprised the affect that can have.
