At one point a couple months ago I spent some time talking to my W about the 'triggers' that would put me back into the hurt feelings I had during the affair.
Things like her cell phone ringing and she leaves the room to talk, or just in general her cell phone being the primary way she talked to OM. And when she reads her e-mail I feel veryuncomfortable. Thinkgs like that. She was considerate enough to understand that I wasn't jusy going to 'get over it' and that she should tell me who's calling sometimes and that it was OK for me to stand around her while she was reading e-mai because it made me feel 'safer'.
In other words SHE has to do some of these 'little things' to reassrue ME, the LBS that the old patterns are gone. And while she swears OM is a total A$$ and she will never talk to him again in her life (it's been 3 months since she told him to go away), she has promised me that IF he ever does call her she will tell me.
Your W needs to face the reality that these things have hurt you and it is up to HER to be sensitive to that.
