Quote: HE initiated these things in order to regain my trust and show that I have nothing to worry about - that's what he told me when he did it. Your W doesn't seem to get that, as if you should just sweep it under the rug and trust her ... just because?
First of all, I think SHE thinks things like having her phone in the house and simply not going out at night anymore "prove" that the A is over and that I have nothing more to worry about. She is VERY reluctant to visit that as a topic of conversation.
Yes, she wants me to sweep it under the rug. She wants it to to away. I don't THINK I can do that, nor do I want to. I suppose there may be more "breaking" of things to happen if this continues. I really like how things feel right now. We FEEL like we are making progress but it may be an act. Like I said, she may be trying to MAKE herself do this instead of really wanting to. IF that's the case, rough times may be ahead.
In any event, short of some incident that get's the best of my emotions, I will probably ride this week out and see what happens. She keeps SAYING all the right things, and for the most part, DOING them too. The fact of the matter is that while she has committed once again to our M, she still has not said she is OM-free in terms of no contact, etc. This is where we (you all & I) will have to probably agree to disagree. I am NOT going to tell her that I will leave, stop talking to her, sell the ring, whatever, if she talks to OM. Will she need to stop 100%, yes, but I am not going to dictate that. I am watching VERY carefully and that watching IS causing resentment and anger in me, so I can't continue to watch forever, or really for much longer. If she can't commit to NO contact in a reasonable time, then maybe it's once again time to reevaluate my position.
Just because I bought her a ring does NOT mean I don't still consider my options open. It just means, at least to me, that I can prolong exercising those options until I see that her actions do or do not match her words.
Gonna probably be away for a bit still this week. I want to try to live a little of this without thinking so much about it.
