Sorry to those rooting for not buying the ring. She was REALLY insistent on it. She wanted to shop this weekend and when we saw one that she really liked she wanted to get it then. I suggested we wait. We did...til the next day.
Anyway, I did manage to talk a bit to her about how this seemed really strange and maybe a little premature considering what we have been going through. She said she didn't agree. She said this was her way of saying she made a decision and wanted me to know.
So, we got it. It's really something that I have wanted to do ever since we got married because when I proposed I had VERY little and the ring I gave her reflected that. I always told her I wanted to do better by her when the time came...well, that's part of the problem, the time came...and came...and came and we spent money, I spent money, on a lot of other things besides her ring. She's noticed and over the years, made little mentions of it.
Anyway, long story short, I had little problem doing it and she seemed to understand what it means to me. Actually, as I said, one of the main reasons she wanted to do it now was to make the point that things were going in the right direction. In the store I did ask her if she was ready for this. She thought I meant the money. I said "No, what this means." She said "Oh, now there are all kinds of expectations?" I said "Nope, just that WE are making this work, which you say WE are." She smiled and said "That was happening with or without a ring."
Do I 100% know that things are "good" now? Nope, but as I said last week, I can't dwell. I HAVE to tighten up my act in terms of detachment and let thing thing play out.
As for "things" playing out, well, I guess it's better there too. I don't really want to go into detail... well, damn, I guess I have to. Sorry to be graphic, but I THINK it's a good thing that W is now opening up to me about things she likes/is turned on by. Friday night she was trimming her hair (she does this between cuts) and I walked by. I asked her to trim mine. She has never done this before. She said yes after I convinced her she couldn't screw it up. She did the trim and then I got my shaver to do my neck (she said it was bad). As she was doing that, she asked me about my back. I said "what about it?" She said "When am I going to do that?" I really didn't know what to say. I said, well, now if you want. She laughed, protested for a bit but then did it, making a LOT of comments about how back hair is gross and how sexy she thinks it is for a man to take care of that. WOW. She never mentioned this before. She said she wanted to but didn't want to offend me.
Now, I probably COULD have taken this the wrong way. Remember, OM is a body building (i.e. shaved all over) guy and here was my W saying how sexy that was but you know what, WTH, when she mentioned it, I could see how it might not be something that someone would want to feel so why not. IT was actually one of the most intimate moments we have had in a LONG time. Sad, but true.
We had a LOT of fun that night. Nothing sexual but the groundwork is being laid, no pun intended.
Oh, one last thing. When we came out of the jewelry store with the ring I asked her if she was happy with her anniversary present. She said "of course but now what do I get you?" I put on my best grin and said "Well, I know one thing and it wouldn't cost us anything." She feigned anger and said "I WON'T be doing that JUST because you gave me a ring. There WILL be a time for that, I assure you." then flashed a grin of her own.
So, again, I apoligize if I went in a direction that you all think was wrong. I agree that it IS a risk for sure. I actually agreed with Amy and others that maybe the time was now to pull back but then she started suggesting the ring and seeming ready to dive in head first. Maybe it's her way to try to force herself to do something she's struggling with but WTH, it FELT right to me and I trusted my gut. It's all I can do these days. If my gut was wrong, then you will probably hear about it sooner than later.
