Hi GH, Pls don't think I was meaning you to be an A-hole, as you put it. I'm thinking your wife is very good at setting little traps for you and you are walking right into them. Would it be reasonable for you to ignore these things e.g. forgetting to call babysitter, the phone thing and accept that for now they ain't gonna happen. Carry on with your life and don't even worry about what she says cuz that's meaningless crap! When her actions change that will be meaningful. She's somehow got you engaged in allowing her actions to dictate your feelings and then she can say "oh, here we go again" and you end up feeling the A-hole. Don't go there! Maybe just comment like "i really would have appreciated if your phone had been on today" and leave it there. Don't tell her how angry, disappointed, frustrated etc you are. I guess it's the detachment thing again. I think detachment will be the key for you. Once she gets the anger thing going you are toast, my friend! Again, it may not be conscious on her part but don't let her get to the "see we just shouldn't be together, you will never change". Play the game, for now. She may actually want to see that you have the anger thing under control. She also wants to escape her guilt and will use your anger as a means to avoid it. Anyway, I've babbled enough. I hope it is of some help. My thoughts again are just thoughts, you are the expert on your life. Try to lay back and laugh a bit at her antics. Again, I started writing down my wife's bizarre statements and can actually laugh at them despite their pain in some ways e.g. "You only send me flowers because you know I like it" Good one, right! Take care
