GH--you better be living it up while you're not here, buddy!!
I know how you're feeling now, I felt the same when I left the house. It was NOT my choice, as it wasn't your choice to let go, but when you do, WHEW...it's like being let off a leash and running free! I immediately started sleeping well, gained a little weight, strong appetite, laughed, and so many people commented on how great I looked.
When you let go, see that nothing is in your control and start to look again to parts of your life that you put on the back burner and now bring you joy again, it's wonderful. It's exhilerating. With each step detaching, it gives you power to detach more, b/c you really start to see W and her issues (which you previously did not fully b/c you were so focused on changing YOU to save the M). But, you see that she has a lot to work on before YOU would ever take her back, that she is truly in an unhealthy state right now. Actually, distance gives you more compassion. Another thing, it allows you to work on your anger. I know you have none now, but you do have feelings you put away about the A and OM. Now is the time to process them.
So, come back here and tell us what exciting things you're doing.
OT voices my same opinion....whatever the diagnosis for W, the action for you is the same....DROP THE ROPE ALL THE WAY. Let totally go...it's a blissful feeling. Turn around away from your M and toward the rest of your life for now. As a friend put it to me (who speaks to both H and I), this is a time where you and W need to be on different paths. Sometimes in life we still have growing up to do, we can sometimes do it together and sometimes need to do it apart. Make this a time for YOUR growing.
Have the time of your life now. Find ways to set boundaries that make you separate in the same home. Show her that she's not the center of your world, and that you have limits and other things to focus on and bring you happiness. You are not there to support her finding herself, let her do that. Let her fall, let her life spiral, don't touch, it's the ONLY way she can learn and grow.
