GH, WHERE are you? I am worried that you will make an impulsive decision....well, not really... I do believe that you have your sh^t together.

You are not the only one going thru this buddy. You want to either leave or tell her to get the hell out. But, (i know, again with the buts) there is more to this sitch than the two of you. You have your kids to consider, housing, finances, the fact that you have a job and she doesn't, etc. etc. etc.

Are you willing to give this all up? Change your entire lifestyle because you are mad and hurt. You must do a pros and cons list, as I have done many times. It is not to say that you turn the other cheek and let her do what she wants but you must also look at her point of view.

In my case, I can see where I screwed up. I was a raving luantic, a total bitch who did nothing but complain 24/7. Well, if I put myself in my H's shoes, I definitely would not want to come home to me either. Do I condone what he did (and to this day I don't know exactly what that is except for the fact that another woman is involved), no way, BUT I do understand it. He HAD to get away from me and my constant complaining. Today I make a point to NOT complain EVER. If something is bothering me I bitch to my girlfriends. My H works hard to provide me with a life that I don't have to work. The last thing he needs to hear is me complaining, about ANYTHING.

Therefore, change the dynamics of your marriage, or lack thereof. I've told you before, you are too accomodating. STOP kissing her ass, IMHO she does not deserve it. It appears to me that she doesn't really have any feelings for you (sorry, don't forget I am in the same boat), therefore only YOU can create your own happiness. Again, enjoy your life with your kids and your friends. In your mind, start thinking of yourself as a single Dad. It may seem mean and harsh to you but do things without her. She needs to feel the consequences of her actions, of a possible life without you. Again, I am not trying to tell you to be mean and cold but stop worrying so much about what she thinks. She obviously doesn't worry too much about you. I know, she doesn't want to hurt you. My H doesn't want to hurt me either - we do have a history together, but he/she are not committed anymore. I think if we would just leave it would make it so much more easier on them. Well F that!!!!

So, start taking care of yourself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself (don't want to get into that victim mode). Pardon my french, F your W. Treat her like a friend (if you have to) and that is it - would you give your friends nightly backrubs? No, then don't give her one either.

You can DO this. I have faith in you. No matter what road you decide to take , you WILL be ok.