Back to Square Zero - GH Saga

[PositivelyListening]

Hi GH, I am sooooo sorry for what is happening. You are such a good and loving man, and I know this must really hurt. But here's the thing. It's just not over yet. Expectations got the best of you, it was all looking so good, and now it's not what it appeared to be. It sucks, but truly, better to know than not to know. On top of that, better to clean every bit of crap out of your R with your W, no matter how it turns out. I know you probaably don't want to hear this right now, but this ping pong back to the A partner is common. These affairs are addictive, and the addiction is hard to break. OM is your W's heroin. You do what ever it takes to take care of yourself and your kids while she is addicted. Set healthy boundaries, and be firm GH. You do not have to set ultimatums, and you do not need to react in anger either. It is time to tell your truth. Just remember, though, that it is a good thing that your W told you what was going on, and that she didn't lie or procrastinate for weeks and weeks. This was an improvement over her past behavior.

Let her know you are hurt and are not sure you can tolerate one more round. Let her know her behavior is unhealthy, and you don't want to watch or participate. But remember, it is more important than anything else that your W tells you the truth. I know you are upset, hurt, angry, and dissapointed. And you thought something different was going on, and that your W was working on your M. But here's the thing: you need DBing now more than ever. What expectations did you have? Were your communications, commitments and promises to each other crystal clear, or could you have communicated better? Were you being 100% authentic, or were you holding back some? Just take a look GH, to see if there is anything you can do to self-correct and learn from what has happened. Don't get me wrong, GH, I think your W is behaving badly. But something is still there for you to do, I am sure. Be patient, and try not to react impulsively. It is a good thing that you at least know what's going on. Anger is a cover up for sadness and hurt, so remember that when you are feeling angry. Maybe it's time for W to see the consequences of what she is doing, instead of you always sucking it up and doing all the work and then getting hurt without her seeing it. You are the best GH. Tone down the number of posts on the boards if you like, but don't quit your process. You have grown so much since I have been reading the boards, and you have helped so many. You are just discouraged. I understand. But there is more to be revealed. Please know we are with you, all the way, no matter what.

(((((((((((( GH ))))))))))) biggest hug ever