Back to Square Zero - GH Saga

[RBinBR]

I know there was much discussion of implementing a no contact rule. I would say that is a waste of time. She didn't consult you when she started the A, why would she ask your permission now. If you make it an issue it is only likely going to make her want to see him more. Eventually, she will grow tired of him, and end contact on her own.

SS, you are correct that any rule that is "imposed" by the LBS will simply make the WAS want to do the opposite.

What's different is if the WAS really wants to work on the marriage, and the rule can be mutually agreed upon as part of a plan to restore the marriage. Most WAS's, at the point of wanting to restore the M, don't realize how strongly they are going to be tempted to call the OP. They want to think, like my W did, that they can just be friends. Let's face it -- if the WAS wasn't a little confused, he/she wouldn't be a WAS leaving and then trying to return to a marriage. There's always going to be some rocky point in a reconciliation when the WAS is going to really want to talk to the OP. Knowing that in advance and planning for it is a great way to stop the cycle that we see in some sitches where the WAS returns to the M, then goes back to the OP, then repeats the cycle over and over again.

My two cents ...