I'm destroying every thing I've worked so hard 4

[cat03]

"no" to questions 2 and 3, I'm afraid question 1 is yes. During all this time I have carefully tried to be closer to him physically, I hold his hand, kiss him, initiate sx and generally try to make myself attractive for him.

Now, I feel like I dont' mesure up to the standar of a woman's body he now might have, of course other than denying he did anything physical and appologyzing about going there he hasn't reassured me about how he feels about me physically. OK, I know they are in no position of reassuring even themselves, but it makes me feel so worthless and unattractive, that spark I had, that desire to please him and touch him feels odd now, it doesn't feel right.

I almost want to cry, we were doing fairly well in our SL and now it is downhill, I was growchy about that yesterday and I told him why, he tells me now I"m "just like a man" now because I want it more than he does.

So it's back to square one, I know I can't make him feel attracted to me, he has to feel that on his own, but now I feel like he should also at least try to do little things (hold my hand, hug) now and then. I'm no model, but I have a good figure and look nice if I say so myself, my H not saying anything when long ago he used to shower me w/compliments makes me feel like a toad.

I feel that if I start to initiate physical contact he's going to think me desperate, he's the one who screwed up on that matter and now I'm the one who has to reach out YET AGAIN???? I know the answer, it just sickens me.