Quote:

You can do this.
Once you've thought about it. How do you feel deep down. Would it be positive or negative for H to see you and the girls right now? Well Kiya just turned a month old yesterday. I had told him that if he wanted to stop and see them this weekend (I told him this when he told me he was leaving) that he was more than welcome.
I figure if things get uncomfortable between he and I . . then I can always just tell him to head on down the road and I'll see him later I wouldn't have even thought about that before
How do you want to act if/when he comes around. Not sure how to answer this one. I KNOW that I want to act happy and DETACHED!! I do not want to let myself fall right back into that same sitch. I want him to see that I can and do have a life without him . . . and it's NOT bad at all.
Be prepared - what happens when he comes around and has gone back to being the A$$ that he was before? I'll tell him to head on down the road . . that obvoiusly we weren't ready for this time spent together and we can try again later.
Trial and error right?



hmmmmmm . . . I'll go back and look through . . . but I haven't been thinking clearly until Sat.
So 3 days and counting.
I may be fogging . . . but in no way do I feel panic or fear.
I just want to do the right thing right now.

Let me add this here. . .
My H and I have had fights where I know that he would have liked to smack me. BUT he didm't.
He's been working with his anger.
I am proud of him for that.
If he keeps working on himself in that respect I think we would be fine.
I ALWAYS told him that if he ever lays a wrong hand on the girls I will be gone FOREVER . .
I mean that.
AND I don't mean he's going to have to beat them for me to leave . . . I mean even disciplining them more than I think he should . . .
I guess now that I've told about it though . . it's something I have to really address.
I honestly don't think he would hurt one of the kids . . I guess I was looking to make myself not like him and to hurt him when I mentioned that.
I mean I did think that if he hated me the way he said he did . . then he might take it out on the girls.
BUT . . . if he and I can even stay civil and get a D I wouldn't think twice about it.