I had a BLAST tonight. . . . I felt like the old Emily was coming back. I felt good. . . no more of that "seeing the OW in everyone" and worrying that I am ugly and unwanted. I just went out (only to Target mind you) and didn't care! We had a BLAST with the sunglasses. You can imagine.
I'm not having a hard time wishing he'd come back or anything . . . now though I seem to be rehashing things to figure out if he ment them or not over the past 7 months. I just try to stop myself . . and tell myself it's pointless to think about it.
It doesn't matter anymore. It still hurts that I was that lied to. Did he do it just to see his daughter get born? Who knows? I never wanted him to lie to me . . . I always wanted the truth . . . was I that unapproachable? Who knows? Not me . .
OK that's the thought process . . I'm not obsessing over it . . It's just knocking around my head a little bit.
